Let’s be honest, most of us grew up with sex education that was… well, less “educational” and more “don’t get pregnant or catch something.”
No one told us about pleasure. No one told us that everyone’s body is different. And no one definitely told us that sex is supposed to feel good, and safe, and fun, and entirely yours to define.
So, let’s rewrite the lesson plan, shall we?
1. Pleasure Is Normal (and Healthy!)
If there’s one thing we wish everyone learned in school, it’s this: pleasure is part of sexual health.
Exploring your own body through self-pleasure is not shameful, it’s how you learn what feels good, what doesn’t, and how to communicate those things with a partner (if and when you want one).
Your pleasure is not selfish. It’s self-care.
2. Communication Is Sexy
Forget the awkward, blushing silences, talking about sex is hot.
Whether it’s telling a partner what feels good, discussing boundaries, or negotiating fantasies, clear and honest communication makes intimacy deeper, safer, and far more exciting.
Start small: “I like it when you…” or “Can we try…” are easy ways to open the conversation.
3. Bodies Are All Different (and That’s Beautiful)
No two bodies are exactly alike. Vulvas, penises, curves, textures, sizes, they’re all wonderfully unique.
What’s “normal”? Literally everything your body is doing, as long as it’s healthy and comfortable for you. Comparison culture is boring. Your body is already perfect.
4. Consent Is Non-Negotiable
This should’ve been lesson number one in school: enthusiastic consent is the baseline of every healthy sexual interaction.
Yes means yes. No means no. And anything less than enthusiastic, ongoing consent — whether you’re kissing, touching, or having sex, is a no-go.
Consent is sexy because it creates a space where everyone feels safe, respected, and free to explore pleasure.
5. Lube Is Life**
Nobody mentioned lube in school, but here’s the truth: lube makes everything better, and safer. It reduces friction, prevents micro-tears, and turns good sex into great sex.
And no, using lube doesn’t mean you’re “not turned on.” It means you value your comfort and pleasure.
6. Orgasms Aren’t the Goal
Sex isn’t a race to the finish line. Take the pressure off, slow down, and enjoy the journey.
Sometimes intimacy looks like a slow make-out session, mutual touch, or simply lying in bed laughing together. Pleasure should be about connection, not performance.
7. Sexuality Is Fluid, and That’s Okay
Your desires, turn-ons, and labels may shift throughout your life. That’s normal. That’s healthy.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation or a static identity. Sexuality is as unique, and ever-evolving, as you are.
8. Safe Sex Is Empowering, Not Awkward
Condoms, dental dams, and regular STI testing aren’t buzzkills, they’re acts of self-respect.
Looking after your health means you can enjoy pleasure with confidence, knowing you’re taking care of yourself and your partners.
9. Toys Aren’t Just for Solo Play
School skipped over this one, but toys aren’t just for when you’re alone. Vibrators, strokers, and other pleasure products can be amazing additions to partnered play, taking connection and sensation to a whole new level.
10. Your Sexual Journey Is Yours
There’s no such thing as “falling behind” or “doing it wrong.” Whether you’ve had lots of partners, one, or none at all, your sexual timeline is yours to own.
You get to decide what you want, when you want it, and with whom, or with no one at all.
If sex ed had been honest, inclusive, and pleasure-focused, we’d all have healthier, happier relationships with our bodies and our partners.
So consider this your refresher course: your pleasure, your pace, your rules.
