1. Prioritize Communication

Communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, especially after children enter the picture. You and your partner are likely experiencing a mix of exhaustion, stress, and new responsibilities, all of which can make it difficult to focus on each other.

• Create space to talk: Set aside time each week to have an honest conversation. Discuss your feelings, your needs, and your goals for reconnecting. This is also a great opportunity to express any concerns or struggles you’ve both encountered.
• Be vulnerable: It’s important to acknowledge that adjusting to life after children can be challenging for both partners. Being open about your feelings fosters emotional closeness, which often leads to greater physical intimacy.

2. Focus on Emotional Intimacy First

Before diving back into physical intimacy, consider strengthening your emotional connection. When couples feel close on an emotional level, the physical aspect often follows naturally.

• Carve out time for each other: Even if it’s just 15 minutes at the end of a long day, make time to check in with each other without distractions. Whether it's cuddling on the couch, enjoying a cup of tea together, or just chatting about your day, these moments add up.
• Reminisce and laugh together: Reflect on the things that brought you together before kids, whether it was a shared sense of humor, common hobbies, or a mutual love for certain activities. Laughter is a powerful way to bond.

3. Reintroduce Physical Touch Gradually

After children, physical intimacy might not look the same as it did before—and that’s okay! The key is to reintroduce touch and affection slowly and intentionally.

• Start small: Simple gestures like holding hands, hugging, or giving each other a back rub can reignite a sense of closeness.
• Use non-sexual touch: Physical touch that isn’t tied to sex can help build comfort and closeness. Cuddling, spooning, and even kissing each other on the forehead or cheek can re-establish trust and affection.
• Be patient: You don’t need to rush things. Take your time to explore different forms of touch and communication, and let things unfold naturally.

4. Redefine Intimacy with Pleasure Products

For couples ready to reignite their sexual connection, pleasure products like sex toys can be an exciting way to reintroduce novelty and fun into your bedroom routine. Whether you’re new to toys or experienced, using them can provide a fresh perspective on pleasure.

• Start with mutual comfort: It's important that both partners feel comfortable and open to exploring toys. Have an open conversation about which products you’re interested in and how you can use them together.
• Explore with intention: Whether it’s a simple vibrator, couples toy, or something more adventurous, the key is to explore with the goal of bringing joy and excitement back to your intimate moments.
• Set the mood: Create an environment that promotes relaxation. Dim the lights, play soft music, or take a warm bath together before introducing a toy. This can help both of you feel more at ease and ready to enjoy the moment.

5. Plan Date Nights

As parents, you may not have as much free time as you used to, but planning regular date nights (or even day dates) can help you reconnect outside of your role as caregivers. Whether it's dinner out or a cozy movie night at home, spending time together as a couple can work wonders for your emotional and physical bond.

• Get creative with childcare: Ask family members to help out, or hire a trusted sitter for a few hours. If that’s not possible, even putting the kids to bed early and enjoying a home-cooked meal together can count as a mini-date.
• Celebrate small moments: Even if you can’t plan a full date night, take joy in the small moments—like cooking breakfast together, running errands, or enjoying a quiet cup of coffee while the kids nap.

6. Be Kind to Yourselves

Most importantly, be patient with yourselves. Parenthood is a huge transition, and it’s natural for your relationship to evolve along the way. There’s no need to rush intimacy—just take small, meaningful steps to reconnect with your partner.

Remember, intimacy isn’t just about sex. It’s about emotional closeness, feeling valued, and enjoying the unique connection you share with your partner. By focusing on communication, taking small steps toward physical touch, and exploring new forms of intimacy, you’ll be well on your way to rediscovering your relationship after children.

Rekindling your romantic connection is a journey, but it’s one that can lead to an even stronger, deeper bond with your partner.